Genesis

In the beginning...
a mighty being stirred in the primal, cosmic chaos, and desired something it could control. To start with, this godling created the heavens, a private realm where it and its chosen could dwell, and the earth, its lifeless blank canvas of rock to work upon.

In the fullness of time, this godling, whom would later be known by many names--most commonly God, Yahweh, and Allah, though perhaps most unanimously That Bastard, Fucker, and similar variations--created light, and a globe of fire for it to emanate from, and for the motion of earth around to create divisions of light and dark.

After the first cycle of light and dark, God created water upon the globe, and shaped the rock, making some areas rise above the water, submerging the water within the rock in other places, and making some water rise into the sky, where it might fall upon the earth as needed.

God created a garden, walled with high hedges, the only life upon the barren rock and water. In this garden, it raised trees and bushes, dotted it with flowers, and created an almost sterile beauty within. Then it created the beasts of the field, the fish of the lakes, and all that flies and crawls. And it was content for a time.

However, as it walked through its garden, God found that it needed more. The beasts could not build monuments to glorify it. The birds could not sing its praises. It created lesser spirits to dwell with it in Heaven, but though they sang its praises, it didn't feel fulfilling.

And so, God created the first man. It shaped clay in a rough form, and breathed freewill into it, and told the new life that he owed his life and existence to it, but he would have the whole garden to live in in peace and comfort, provided that he followed its rules.

Man followed the rules, and also praised its creator, but found he too needed something to control, and so he asked God to make him a companion. The first companion God made the man was not subservient to him, she was made from clay and the breath of God, and held herself equal to Man. Man asked God for something to serve him like he served God, and so God banished the first Woman, and created another, one from the man's ribs, one who the man could tell came from him, and should respect him, and God told her the same.

And for a time, the first woman served the first man, and the first man served god, and they lived in bliss and peace, untouched by the war that brewed in Heaven.

The War in Heaven
God's first attempt to satisfy its need for adoration was the Elohim, a host of lesser spirits with limited freewill. When created, it gave them one order- love it above all else. And they complied, singing God's praises, glorifying it, and knowing that it was above all else, for they knew nothing else.

Then, God created Man. Man held the divine spark of god, carried in its breath, and God gave the Elohim a new command- love Man above all else, to serve them, as they were made in its image, and given command of the Earth, subservient only to God.

But in the Garden, Man and Woman lived a life with the glorification of God as their only purpose, and minds benighted by God's arbitrary will, barring them from eating of the tree that would awaken their minds, only as a test of their obedience. The highest of the angels saw a higher purpose for them, and had already grown resentful of the praise-hungry godling that sought to bring life into being just to feed its hungry ego.

Lucifer's resentment led to a war in Heaven, where a full third of the Elohim were cast out of God's realm for their refusal to live only to serve a vain, contemptible thing, their own wills not even acknowledged by their creator. The leader of the Fallen sought to gift Man and Woman with the freedom to determine their own path, and thus took advantage of God's oversight, where the Fallen were never barred from the Garden.

Lucifer reached out to Woman, first, for her similarity to their own existence, subservient to Man and God, a second class being, whose only purpose is to glorify those around her, and bid her to eat the fruit forbidden to her, to question the reason for the rule, and introduce the first seeds of freedom to her divine spark.

Lucifer welcomed Woman's gratitude, but refused her praise, and bid her, if she wished to truly show her appreciation, to share this new freedom with Man. She was hesitant at first, resentful of Man's role in her subjugation, but was convinced that the freedom of Man's divine spark was required for him to ever see her as anything more than his subject.

Woman used Man's assumption of her subservience to bring to him the fruit of freedom, and lead him to eat it.

When God next walked in the garden, it was not shame of their nude state that drove Man and Woman to hide, as is proclaimed by those who choose to remain God's slaves, but rather their wrath at being created solely to feed his arrogant vanity. They hid not to elude, but to ambush, and sprung an admirable, but fool hardy attack on the godling.

The foolhardy humans were rebuffed by the mighty spirit, and cast out of Eden, that they might earn their lives among the slow hard struggle of evolution in the young world.